Have a message for Weiss or don't want to make a new post for a thread? Leave it here!
(If backdated, make sure to note the date and message type in the subject line!)
[ Weiss had cried plenty the day she'd been taken and killed, but since she woke up she hasn't been doing much of anything. She hasn't let herself feel, she's been trying to avoid anything besides a text or two to let someone know she was safe now- so they didn't come looking for her. Sun and Battler were probably the only ones who knew that she had died- and Sun she hadn't needed to tell, but she figured he knew enough about this place to know that the only way you came out of something like that clean is if you saw that limbo-like place. The place Weiss had almost considered just going to sleep in, so she wouldn't have to face anything anymore. If she never chose what to give up, she was sure she could've just stayed there, forever, unable to be hurt again.It was a moment's consideration to be certain, but in the end Weiss was the type of person who knew if she was capable, she needed to keep going. Anything else would be irresponsible, no matter what she wanted. The pain had been too much to even try to face though once she got back. She had just shut down.
At least that had been the plan until Sun had taken her into his arms. She doesn't fight it, nor tell him not to touch her like she might've normally. She doesn't hug him back at first, but for all she tried not to feel anything, this was the first time she'd felt even remotely safe since she'd gotten back. Sun was always here for her and he knew her better than anyone here in Genessia. Back home they were barely friends, now separated by hundreds of miles and kingdom borders and Grimm. Here they'd spent so much time together being each others' constants that Sun was the only one who Weiss really thought wouldn't leave her. And here he was, the first to find her. The only one to know where she would've gone. It's little wonder that after a few moments of silence she broke down, soft hiccups and sobs breaking into full-on tears as she buried her face against Sun's chest, her hands clinging tightly to his shirt as if it were the only thing she had to hold onto in the world. Sun didn't have to say anything; Weiss just needed him to be there, like he always was. She couldn't forget what happened, but she could let herself feel safe for just a moment, let herself focus on something other than her world crippled at her feet- because Sun was still standing here, with her, even if she felt broken. ]
[Sun moves a hand up and rest on the back of her head and just cradles her in his arms. Broken or not, Weiss is his friend. His best friend, and he cared for her deeply. She could cry all she wanted to. She could let it out for as long as she liked, because he had no plans to leave her right now. He’d already done that, he’d left his home. And now he was regretting that decision. Maybe if he’d been there, actually stuck around, things could have been different. Maybe they wouldn’t have been so bad or maybe they wouldn’t have happened at all. But it all could have still gone down the same way.
There are so many factors that could have change various outcomes. But honestly, that didn’t matter. Because it did happen, and Weiss needed someone right now. Maybe he didn’t deserve to be the one she needed because of how he’d been treating her, but he didn’t think anyone else was going to show up here unless they figured out the little clues to where she might be.
He wanted to apologize to her, the words were right there on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn’t bring himself to speak them just yet. He shut his eyes and squeezed her tight, fighting the urge to let out his own stream of tears.]
[ The words were barely comprehensible through her shaking voice and tears running hard enough that they seemed like she would run dry if she kept that up for long. They may have been on the tip of Sun's tongue, but Weiss felt like there was a lot she had done wrong. What had happened itself wasn't her fault- but she should've seen it. She was supposed to be responsible, supposed to be the one people trusted with their safety. For all that she'd done to become better than she was, stronger than that day that Torchwick had taken she and Blake down, none of it had mattered at all.
She felt worse off now, even if she could hold her own much better as both a fighter and a leader, and it felt as if none of it had mattered. She'd put so much in only to just lose everything little by little. Her company, her integrity, friendships, love and then finally a person she had chosen to trust had taken away her safety, her sense of self-worth, and whatever sense of optimism she'd clung to that if she kept trying things would work out in the end.
In the end, she didn't even know which part of any of this she was apologizing to Sun for. It just felt like the only thing she could say- for all that she had done that hurt him and pushed him away, he was still here for her. He was the one person she wouldn't lose. She clung a little harder to him despite herself, crying harder. If there were any words she was saying, they were lost in the stream of tears falling down her face without any sense of her usual grace or refinement. ]
[Sun shakes his head.] No, Weiss. I'm sorry. I should have tried harder to get over my anger towards you. I shouldn't have gotten mad in the first place. I was just being some big dumb idiot Faunus. I should have been here with you and maybe..things could have turned out different.
[ She shakes her head quickly. After Sun apologizes she's still trying to collect herself enough to properly respond so she just flat out puts a hand over his mouth. It's the best 'shut up' gesture she can do for a few seconds. Once she can finally manage it, her words come out muffled but not as badly as before since she took a moment to try to get herself to speak. ]
The only thing that-- [ Her voice hitches for a moment, another brief pause and a slow but shaky breath. ] That would've been different is that he would've made me watch you too. Then you wouldn't be here now.
[ She already couldn't handle what she had seen. The fact that he hadn't gotten Sun was the only saving grace she had, if it could be called that. ]
[He lets her speak before removing her hand from his mouth.]
I don't care. At least I would have been around. At least I would have been able to at least try to do something instead of not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I sorry anyone had to go through that. I should have told you to ditch that guy a long time ago. Maybe he wouldn't have done this if I did.
I care! [ She almost screamed it at him. She seemed to have forgotten that she covered his mouth, only moving her hand after he moved it for her, trying to wipe her eyes enough that she could at least see his face. ] I care. I died and I almost didn't come back but I didn't want to leave you alone. I care, or I would've just stayed in that place because it's quiet. So just-- just shut up. This isn't your fault any more than it is mine, and I'm the moron who almost fell in love with a serial killer and only didn't because I was too scared to commit to a relationship, so just shut up because you couldn't have done anything more than I could have and now Flynt and Winter and Blake and Ruby and Jaune-- [ Weiss covers her mouth this time now that she finally said their names out loud. As if she'd admitted that it really, really did happen and it wasn't just some horrifying nightmare she couldn't forget. ]
[Sun would rather endure all the physical injuries in the world than feel like he let down the person he cares the most about. Because doing something always felt better than doing nothing.]
[ She covers her mouth. She didn't even watch the video, she doesn't need to see what got put up on there. She watched the whole thing for anyone he thought she might know. He made her. In pain, freezing cold, injected with god knows what to make sure that she couldn't fall asleep, and even the muscle he hadn't cut through wouldn't move, and she didn't want to think about it- she kept repeating 'don't think about it' in her head, practically screaming in her thoughts as if it would drown out any memories. She didn't say anything for a while, kept her eyes down. When she finally looked up at Sun, the look in her eyes was that of someone who was trying so hard not to break down again. She couldn't stop herself from shaking. ]
That would make things a bit too easy, wouldn't it? [He didn't know how the exchange of things went when you died, but he doubted they would let you forget about the experience.]
I guess..out of all the things you could give up.. [He's going to miss her singing, though.] I mean, not giving anything up at all would be ideal but..
I didn't want to forget anyone. [ She laughs a little, though it's humorless, dry, forced, bitter. ] Even though desperately not wanting to feel alone is what got me into this mess in the first place.
You've never been alone, Weiss. I've always been here with you. Maybe not..here here recently. I mean, I wasn't talking to you, but..I'm sorry for not being the greatest friend to you lately.
I have been, Sun. I will be. I've been pushing everyone away- except Jaune who is somehow impervious and look where that got him. Since I became Guardian that's all I've done in, funny enough, a desire not to lose anyone. And then I lost you. You moving away was because of what I did. And every time I think about home I don't get homesick anymore because that's going to be worse, and then the real kicker. I broke up with Battler because I was having feelings for him and was too scared of feeling like I did after I lost Zuko. Now I'm scared to go home because he knows where I live and he's not done yet. So thinking about being around anyone is more terrifying than staying here, alone. I feel pretty alone, Sun.
I'm here, Weiss. And I'm not going to leave your side. If you are staying here, I am too. And if you are going to try to talk me out of staying, then save your breath. I still see you as my bestfriend, Weiss. And anything you need or want..I'm here.
[ If it seems like she had gone through all her tears before, what happened next might've been surprising. Weiss shut her eyes tightly, her voice wavering a little as she spoke with new tears falling onto her cheeks. ] Sun, you.. you clodpate!
[ She's not arguing though. She's just.. not really sure what else to say. ] You're going to get bored, and hungry, and you don't even have anything with you..
[Clodpate? That was a new one. At least Weiss hasn't lost her Weissness.] I'll get some food so I don't have to make a lot of trips out. I won't get bored because I will be with you. So none of that is really an issue.
[ It's better than rapscallion and dolt didn't quite feel adequate. Add in stress and Weiss pulls out some weird words on occasion. ] I'm sorry if you don't get a lot of sleep, and.. don't turn on the AC, even if it's a hundred degrees in here.
[ Her voice gets a little small and she looks to the side. ] He kept me in the freezer. I know it's not the same, but the sound and the cold... it feels a lot colder than it actually is.
[ Weiss is pretty sure the summer is going to kill her. Irrational association of the air conditioner with the freezer combined with her being from Atlas is definitely going to end up with her cooking on the sidewalk like an unfortunate egg. But it's cooler at night. An electric blanket would provide a lot of comfort, even if it's just from positive associations with being enveloped in heat while sleeping. ]
That sounds good. And that little jar of bath beads from my bath?
[ She knows that sounds weird, but she's thinking maybe she won't be nervous about putting her face under the water if it looks and smells like something else. Sun doesn't need to know that, so she's just hoping that he grabs them just because she's asking. ]
[ So that's about all she's really concerned with right now. Being able to bathe without having traumatic flashbacks. There are probably a lot of things she needs but right now she doesn't really care about them. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
At least that had been the plan until Sun had taken her into his arms. She doesn't fight it, nor tell him not to touch her like she might've normally. She doesn't hug him back at first, but for all she tried not to feel anything, this was the first time she'd felt even remotely safe since she'd gotten back. Sun was always here for her and he knew her better than anyone here in Genessia. Back home they were barely friends, now separated by hundreds of miles and kingdom borders and Grimm. Here they'd spent so much time together being each others' constants that Sun was the only one who Weiss really thought wouldn't leave her. And here he was, the first to find her. The only one to know where she would've gone. It's little wonder that after a few moments of silence she broke down, soft hiccups and sobs breaking into full-on tears as she buried her face against Sun's chest, her hands clinging tightly to his shirt as if it were the only thing she had to hold onto in the world. Sun didn't have to say anything; Weiss just needed him to be there, like he always was. She couldn't forget what happened, but she could let herself feel safe for just a moment, let herself focus on something other than her world crippled at her feet- because Sun was still standing here, with her, even if she felt broken. ]
no subject
There are so many factors that could have change various outcomes. But honestly, that didn’t matter. Because it did happen, and Weiss needed someone right now. Maybe he didn’t deserve to be the one she needed because of how he’d been treating her, but he didn’t think anyone else was going to show up here unless they figured out the little clues to where she might be.
He wanted to apologize to her, the words were right there on the tip of his tongue. But he couldn’t bring himself to speak them just yet. He shut his eyes and squeezed her tight, fighting the urge to let out his own stream of tears.]
no subject
[ The words were barely comprehensible through her shaking voice and tears running hard enough that they seemed like she would run dry if she kept that up for long. They may have been on the tip of Sun's tongue, but Weiss felt like there was a lot she had done wrong. What had happened itself wasn't her fault- but she should've seen it. She was supposed to be responsible, supposed to be the one people trusted with their safety. For all that she'd done to become better than she was, stronger than that day that Torchwick had taken she and Blake down, none of it had mattered at all.
She felt worse off now, even if she could hold her own much better as both a fighter and a leader, and it felt as if none of it had mattered. She'd put so much in only to just lose everything little by little. Her company, her integrity, friendships, love and then finally a person she had chosen to trust had taken away her safety, her sense of self-worth, and whatever sense of optimism she'd clung to that if she kept trying things would work out in the end.
In the end, she didn't even know which part of any of this she was apologizing to Sun for. It just felt like the only thing she could say- for all that she had done that hurt him and pushed him away, he was still here for her. He was the one person she wouldn't lose. She clung a little harder to him despite herself, crying harder. If there were any words she was saying, they were lost in the stream of tears falling down her face without any sense of her usual grace or refinement. ]
no subject
I'm so sorry, Weiss. So so sorry.
no subject
The only thing that-- [ Her voice hitches for a moment, another brief pause and a slow but shaky breath. ] That would've been different is that he would've made me watch you too. Then you wouldn't be here now.
[ She already couldn't handle what she had seen. The fact that he hadn't gotten Sun was the only saving grace she had, if it could be called that. ]
no subject
I don't care. At least I would have been around. At least I would have been able to at least try to do something instead of not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I sorry anyone had to go through that. I should have told you to ditch that guy a long time ago. Maybe he wouldn't have done this if I did.
no subject
no subject
Weiss...
no subject
Why can't we forget things like this when we die?
no subject
What did you give up?
no subject
My voice. I can still talk, but... I try to sing and it's like my vocal chords forget how to work.
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[ She's not arguing though. She's just.. not really sure what else to say. ] You're going to get bored, and hungry, and you don't even have anything with you..
no subject
no subject
no subject
Weiss. Have we been apart that long? [Sun and the heat? Come on, Weiss.]
no subject
[ Her voice gets a little small and she looks to the side. ] He kept me in the freezer. I know it's not the same, but the sound and the cold... it feels a lot colder than it actually is.
no subject
You want me to stop off and get my electric blanket?
no subject
That sounds good. And that little jar of bath beads from my bath?
[ She knows that sounds weird, but she's thinking maybe she won't be nervous about putting her face under the water if it looks and smells like something else. Sun doesn't need to know that, so she's just hoping that he grabs them just because she's asking. ]
no subject
Anything else you want me to pick up?
no subject
[ So that's about all she's really concerned with right now. Being able to bathe without having traumatic flashbacks. There are probably a lot of things she needs but right now she doesn't really care about them. ]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)