whiteas | GENESSIA ❄ IC INBOX

[ She shakes her head quickly. After Sun apologizes she's still trying to collect herself enough to properly respond so she just flat out puts a hand over his mouth. It's the best 'shut up' gesture she can do for a few seconds. Once she can finally manage it, her words come out muffled but not as badly as before since she took a moment to try to get herself to speak. ]

The only thing that-- [ Her voice hitches for a moment, another brief pause and a slow but shaky breath. ] That would've been different is that he would've made me watch you too. Then you wouldn't be here now.

[ She already couldn't handle what she had seen. The fact that he hadn't gotten Sun was the only saving grace she had, if it could be called that. ]

[He lets her speak before removing her hand from his mouth.]

I don't care. At least I would have been around. At least I would have been able to at least try to do something instead of not being there when you needed me. I'm sorry you had to go through that. I sorry anyone had to go through that. I should have told you to ditch that guy a long time ago. Maybe he wouldn't have done this if I did.

I care! [ She almost screamed it at him. She seemed to have forgotten that she covered his mouth, only moving her hand after he moved it for her, trying to wipe her eyes enough that she could at least see his face. ] I care. I died and I almost didn't come back but I didn't want to leave you alone. I care, or I would've just stayed in that place because it's quiet. So just-- just shut up. This isn't your fault any more than it is mine, and I'm the moron who almost fell in love with a serial killer and only didn't because I was too scared to commit to a relationship, so just shut up because you couldn't have done anything more than I could have and now Flynt and Winter and Blake and Ruby and Jaune-- [ Weiss covers her mouth this time now that she finally said their names out loud. As if she'd admitted that it really, really did happen and it wasn't just some horrifying nightmare she couldn't forget. ]

[Sun would rather endure all the physical injuries in the world than feel like he let down the person he cares the most about. Because doing something always felt better than doing nothing.]

Weiss...

[ She covers her mouth. She didn't even watch the video, she doesn't need to see what got put up on there. She watched the whole thing for anyone he thought she might know. He made her. In pain, freezing cold, injected with god knows what to make sure that she couldn't fall asleep, and even the muscle he hadn't cut through wouldn't move, and she didn't want to think about it- she kept repeating 'don't think about it' in her head, practically screaming in her thoughts as if it would drown out any memories. She didn't say anything for a while, kept her eyes down. When she finally looked up at Sun, the look in her eyes was that of someone who was trying so hard not to break down again. She couldn't stop herself from shaking. ]

Why can't we forget things like this when we die?

That would make things a bit too easy, wouldn't it? [He didn't know how the exchange of things went when you died, but he doubted they would let you forget about the experience.]

What did you give up?

[ She goes quiet again when he asked that question, but just when it seems like she's not going to answer she pipes up with it. ]

My voice. I can still talk, but... I try to sing and it's like my vocal chords forget how to work.

I guess..out of all the things you could give up.. [He's going to miss her singing, though.] I mean, not giving anything up at all would be ideal but..

I didn't want to forget anyone. [ She laughs a little, though it's humorless, dry, forced, bitter. ] Even though desperately not wanting to feel alone is what got me into this mess in the first place.

You've never been alone, Weiss. I've always been here with you. Maybe not..here here recently. I mean, I wasn't talking to you, but..I'm sorry for not being the greatest friend to you lately.

I have been, Sun. I will be. I've been pushing everyone away- except Jaune who is somehow impervious and look where that got him. Since I became Guardian that's all I've done in, funny enough, a desire not to lose anyone. And then I lost you. You moving away was because of what I did. And every time I think about home I don't get homesick anymore because that's going to be worse, and then the real kicker. I broke up with Battler because I was having feelings for him and was too scared of feeling like I did after I lost Zuko. Now I'm scared to go home because he knows where I live and he's not done yet. So thinking about being around anyone is more terrifying than staying here, alone. I feel pretty alone, Sun.

I'm here, Weiss. And I'm not going to leave your side. If you are staying here, I am too. And if you are going to try to talk me out of staying, then save your breath. I still see you as my bestfriend, Weiss. And anything you need or want..I'm here.

[ If it seems like she had gone through all her tears before, what happened next might've been surprising. Weiss shut her eyes tightly, her voice wavering a little as she spoke with new tears falling onto her cheeks. ] Sun, you.. you clodpate!

[ She's not arguing though. She's just.. not really sure what else to say. ] You're going to get bored, and hungry, and you don't even have anything with you..

[Clodpate? That was a new one. At least Weiss hasn't lost her Weissness.] I'll get some food so I don't have to make a lot of trips out. I won't get bored because I will be with you. So none of that is really an issue.

[ It's better than rapscallion and dolt didn't quite feel adequate. Add in stress and Weiss pulls out some weird words on occasion. ] I'm sorry if you don't get a lot of sleep, and.. don't turn on the AC, even if it's a hundred degrees in here.

[He gives her a look about turning on the AC, even if it gets hot.]

Weiss. Have we been apart that long? [Sun and the heat? Come on, Weiss.]

No, I just mean-

[ Her voice gets a little small and she looks to the side. ] He kept me in the freezer. I know it's not the same, but the sound and the cold... it feels a lot colder than it actually is.

Well..you know you don't have to worry about that with me. The heat doesn't bother me.

You want me to stop off and get my electric blanket?

[ Weiss is pretty sure the summer is going to kill her. Irrational association of the air conditioner with the freezer combined with her being from Atlas is definitely going to end up with her cooking on the sidewalk like an unfortunate egg. But it's cooler at night. An electric blanket would provide a lot of comfort, even if it's just from positive associations with being enveloped in heat while sleeping. ]

That sounds good. And that little jar of bath beads from my bath?

[ She knows that sounds weird, but she's thinking maybe she won't be nervous about putting her face under the water if it looks and smells like something else. Sun doesn't need to know that, so she's just hoping that he grabs them just because she's asking. ]

[He'll be your errand boy this one time, Weiss.]

Anything else you want me to pick up?

No. Jaune has Frost so..

[ So that's about all she's really concerned with right now. Being able to bathe without having traumatic flashbacks. There are probably a lot of things she needs but right now she doesn't really care about them. ]

[He nods.] Okay. I'll go get the stuff. You just sit tight and I will be back as soon as possible. If you think of anything else, just message me.

Sun?

[ She doesn't want him to leave, but she knows he probably needs some stuff of his own too. So she takes a deep breath. Weiss can be brave. Battler doesn't know where she is, and Sun is coming back even if she tried to so hard to tell herself she didn't need anyone else around, that the safest place was alone, and she was glad for him not caring what she was trying to force herself to think. ]

Thank you.

Edited 2016-07-10 21:14 (UTC)

It's the least I could do, Weiss. So..there is no need to thank me.

Shut up and accept my gratitude.

[ Weiss narrows her eyes, which is somewhat comical considering her eyes are red and puffy from the crying. Her expression softens after a moment, back to looking concerned. ]

And if you're not back in an hour, text me.

Edited 2016-07-10 21:36 (UTC)

(no subject)

monkeystowaway - 2016-07-10 21:46 (UTC) - Expand